Ground control to Major Tom....................

It's currently 12:43 am here in beautiful downtown Chillicothe and the most accurate way to describe my current state of mind would be "in the bag". In addition to which, I've been up for over 36 hours.

Tomorrow (gadzooks, today!!) is the glorious Fourth and I have spent most of the evening preparing for a cookout with my kids.
I went to the grocery, came home, prepared potato salad, took an extended alcohol break, then returned and made cole slaw. So now I have a refrigerator full of stuff to eat for tomorrow....... but I have such a case of the blind munchies right fucking now that I could eat the ass out of ten thousand holsteins.

There are 5 beautiful slabs of ribs in my fridge............just waiting to be kissed and caressed with my most tender ministrations on the morrow. I think I'll create a side blog Monday (with pictures and everything) just to teach you folks how to cook a bone that any pig would be proud to have sacrificed his life to provide.

I spent some time at Marge's tap..............a sort of old guy's elephant graveyard, where I drank a beer or two and had a shot of Crown on the rocks. There I held forth with Lang and Floyd and Super Bee and flirted with a little girl that I really wanted to fuck when she was pregnant with her last child. Christ, if you'd poured caramel on her she'd have looked like a Candy Apple. I gave her a big hug and asked her if she was planning to have any more children.

From there, I went to Tomcat's for a glass or three of ice cold Foster's and another Crown on the rocks.

While there, Ron (the bartender) brought out a bottle of vodka from the freezer that he couldn't sell because they had gotten it for free..........(something to do with the Illinois liquor codes I suppose) so he passed out some sample shots. It was called Tito's Handmade Vodka and is distilled in Austin, Texas of all places.

Now, I've never been a vodka drinker. I always figured if you wanted to drink something that tasted like lighter fluid, you could buy a whole bottle of Ronsonol for the cost of a single shot of vodka. Surprisingly, this stuff wasn't half bad........but then after 6 beers and a couple shots of Crown, he could have iced me up a shot of cat pee with a twist and it would have tasted pretty good.

So, the jury is still out on Austin vodka.............I'd eat chili in Austin and I have stated my willingness to crawl to Austin on my hands and knees for sex, but vodka..........hmmmmmmmm.

So, I managed to make it home, cut up my cabbage with a big fucking knife (no kitchen is complete without a BFK), grated it on one of those four sided, mid nineteenth century, dime store graters and, remarkably enough, I still have all my fingers and the skin on all my knuckles is intact.

Of course, I won't be able to tell you what either the potato salad or the cole slaw tastes like until morning. I think this may be a six aspirin night.

So now my darlings, "to sleep..............perchance to dream."
"The innocent sleep. Sleep that knits up the raveled sleeve of care,
The death of each day's life, sore labour's bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,
Chief nourisher in life's feast."

Thus endeth the entry...............