OK........so the Giant Plastic Head Guy was bizarre. So I thought I was seeing some sort of cultural nadir. So I reacted to it the way a Baptist reacts to homosexuality; sort of disgusted, sort of alarmed...... possessed of a "root-of-my-ball-sack" feeling that I have got to either get out of there or kill something and way the fuck creeped out all at the very same time.
........and then it gets worse. There is a commercial............ the little guy from one of those abysmally stupid Mike Myers spy flicks is on a stage with this horrendous fat grotesquerie who screams out: "YOU LOOK LIKE A BABY! I THINK I'M GOING TO EAT YA!"
Whereupon, the little guy says: "This guy is crazy.".........and then he starts running off at the head about something.
I never have quite caught what the little guy is talking about because, in the meantime, the fat guy starts mumbling and kind of doing a little happy dance and singing to himself about babybacks.......and then screams: "GET IN MY BELLY!"
At least with the Giant Plastic Head Guy, I knew they were pimping for Booger King...........
I have seen this commercial at least half a dozen times and I have no clue what they are selling. Now, peepul.........commercials in prime time aren't just thrown together little video sessions with the family that owns the local hardware store or the witty fellows at the nearest Chevy dealership.
They spend a few million dollars on these things. They run "samples", they target their market and do the statistical math down to the gnat's ass. They run it by shrinks, lawyers and bean counters to who laid the chunk. Before a major advertising campaign is launched they have a pretty good idea whether it is going to work or backfire, whether some special interest group is going to take offense and sue them for it and, if they do can they win the lawsuit or settle out of court and for how much.............in short, will all the possible anticipatible expenses of the ad campaign turn them a profit.
The very fact that it is still running is testimony to the fact that it is working...........that it is appealing to people, that people are paying attention, that it is influencing people to buy whatever the fuck it is they are peddling.
All I can say is that you fucking people are sick..........for the first time in my life I am seriously considering moving to a state that allows its residents to carry concealed weapons. This is scary shit......... scarier even than living next door to a guy who works for cash in the roofing industry and believes professional wrestling is real.
Be afraid.........
Thus endeth the entry........
