It's two Abby shots past a million beer thirty in the morning............
It was a typical Friday night of occasionally atonal, always entertaining Karaoke.
I left River City Bar and Grill with three scribbled on napkins, a styro-foam cup and a raging case of the munchies.
Friday night is usually Pizza night............but it is also "free food night" at Tom Cat's. I was testing some new sauces tonight, so I blew off the pizza, knowing full well that I would be out of control hungry by the time the night was over.
So, I am working through the process of making this box of chicken parts hot enough to eat................I am a professional, Kids, do not try this at home if you are really drunk.
So while the chicken "cooks" I will hold forth...........
I went to a concert in Normal, Illinois circa 1978..........Commander Cody and the Lost Planet Airmen. Casey was a babe in arms. Cody had a lady violinist with hair so long she had to put a knot in it to keep it off the floor. He did a rendition of "Down to Seeds and Stems Blues" with her that nearly made me weep it was so beautifully done.
Which leads me to the whole idea of chicks and violins.............I love them. I want Vanessa May to straddle me while she is playing something by Mozart. (Tiny oriental lady with a British accent who plays violin.........does it get any better???) Guess which Dixie Chick I like the best..................
Poor ol' Bill Clinton had a By-pass ...............does that mean fat chicks are high in cholesterol?.................hmmmmmm
I was born in 1950, and grew up in the 50's and 60's.............
Grannie dresses were rather shapeless affairs but were tres sexy notwithstanding, in that nothing was worn underneath them....................one gesture, and the girl was naked. Among the erotic memories associated with my first wife is an afternoon in Marceline, Missouri. I laid on my back in the grass, in the town square, and she straddled my body. Her Grannie dress billowed over me. I undid my pants and entered her while people walked around us...................the only way I can imagine it being more intense would be if she were twins.
Tom Cat's has a new bartender. A lovely and charming young lady with the extraordinarily unique name of Sabre' (pronounced Say-bra).
I have commented before about Tom Cat's bartenders. All are smart, pretty, personable, and well formed.............across a wide range of personalities and body styles.
Of course, the "art deco".........lithe and lean...... seems to have a slight ascendancy over the more "zaftig", it still betrays an aficionado's eye and instinct at work.
My chicken is done.............it really sucks. Imagine reheated, deep fried, chicken dust.........but, to be fair, the breading almost seems to have some flavor to it.
Where I was??? Oh yeah...................Sabre' (imagine the little drooly face guy here).
I've held forth in bars and coffee shops for nearly 4 decades now...............and the ladies that have attended to my needs fall rather neatly into three major categories:
Passing through.............
In dire need of an old man with a good job..........
destined for a career in food service..........
Sabre' is passing through.............
A semester shy of a pre-med bachelor's degree at prestigious Bradley University, she decided that her own hopes and expectations were a better arbiter of her future than those of her parents and family.
She is still in school and off in a direction of her own choosing ..............
she is 23 years old.............
she reads .............
and likes beer................
I don't know if she likes milk or dark chocolate yet............I'll have to get back to you.
Normally, if I regard a woman under the age of 30 worthy of more than tying up, lubricating and doing things to, I will wish that she were 40 years old.
Which is the same as saying that, assuming they are reasonably honest about who they are, they have the potential of maturing into an interesting and possibly even mentally stable human being.
Every once in a rare while, I encounter a lady who makes me wish I were 25 again................*sigh*.
Welcome to Tom Cat's darlin'.
The ability to pick one's nose with one's tongue is impressive.............and I can understand it, I suppose, as a desirable trait in a man, but it seems so..........bovine.
If I were a female, I think I would,at least, hold out for the fellow who could lick his eybrows, or (even better) take a quarter out of the bottom of a beer glass with his tongue...............which would at least be prehensile.
The truly discerning woman, however, would seek the man who could trace sonnets on a sweet pea...............and breathe through his ears.
I overheard a guy at the bar tonight who said: "I love it when a girl says "fuck"........."
Personally, I love it when a girl shaves her pussy and swallows.
Thus endeth the entry.............
