Scary Things................

Just to show that I haven't lost touch with the spirit of Halloween, I offer the following.............

Terrorists and terrorism don't scare me too much....after all, George Dubya Halliburton is firmly in control of the situation.....and he's from Texas, and he flew in an airplane once.....(I think), and says John Wayne things about bad guys, and he's not afraid to send off half the first born sons of America to die in some piss-ant, third world country to prove how tough and determined he is.........by God!!(who is going to vote for George, by the way).

Nope, no worries there........
.......but,you want to know what scares me??

At least half the people who watch professional wrestling believe it's real........
but that isn't the scary part.

They are allowed to vote, and drive cars on the same roads that you do, and own guns, and have jobs...(really, I'm not making this up.........they cook your food, and put shingles on your roofs, and change your tires, and bag your groceries, and assemble your toasters and cars).........but that isn't the scariest part.

They fuck........ with each other, and have babies!!!!

Be afraid, be very afraid........
and Have a Happy Halloween......Buwahahahaha..........!!!!

Thus endeth the entry.........

In a cloud of dust, with a hearty "Hi Ho, Silver"..............

I spent most of this gloomy, drizzling, afternoon adding new links and rearranging some old ones, jotting down ideas, and weeding through, uploading and organizing pictures.

This, after a weekend spent fighting with my computer about whether it will, or will not, download a program that I want it to download.........much depends on this war between man and machine. I refuse to be intimidated by anything that was invented in a garage by two guys who had to pay their right hands to give them pleasure and is assembled in medieval, third world sweatshops by functionally illiterate 12 year old children who make $1.25 a month.

I've been rather stymied, not so much by a lack of creative inspiration, as I have by the absence of motivation.

As I changed out the quotes at the top of the page, it occurred to me that it would be a shame to see the old quotes resume their place in obscurity. I think I will create a "quote archive".

I added some new blogs, selected for reasons known only to me, and replaced names with titles for the sake of clarity. The blogs are placed in no particular order of rating or favor, but rather a loose, semi-accurate alphabetical arrangement. Some have a personal meaning, others struck my somewhat tongue in cheek sense of what is amusing, a few are obligatory...............and others are truly gems. The choice is yours.........read and enjoy, let them know from whence you came, and tell them what you think.

What moves a person, whether it be art, literature, poetry, music, or erotica, is truly individual and beyond judgement by another...........these are mine. They will, I'm sure, be expanded upon..........again, explore and enjoy.

Look for a veritable rush of entries this week, as I finish up projects neglected too long (inexcusably) and spew out the rants, reflections, observations and revelations that have collected on napkins and bits of debris, inspired by newspapers, feverish dreams interrupted by bouts of sleepless delirium, and the rootless pronouncements and mad ravings of others. Those who have loyally visited, day after disappointing day, might want to buy some popcorn and a fresh clip of digs.........and set aside some time later in the week.

Rumblings from the distant corners of my empire tell me that Gutz, the happy Gourmand, is feeling neglected and hungry...............those who have not (long since) given up on the moribund "Cooking with Gutz" will soon be rewarded for their patience. I will announce when it is time to head for the kitchen with a 12 pack, a sense of humor, and an appetite.

It was the lithe and lovely Laurie's sad duty tonight, to inform me that Taco Tuesday at TomCat's is no more (Isn't alliteration nice? Kinda reminds one of Poe's poetry, doesn't it?..... "Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore"...").........which means that I have to scavenge the pantry and invent something for supper.

Ta, for now.........

Thus endeth the entry.........

Lipstick...............

The following is one of those occasional, unavoidably cryptic entries. Most won't catch the reference, a lucky handful might, one certainly will.

I found this in my meanderings yesterday afternoon and it made me laugh out loud..........and gave me a little "warm fuzzy" at the same time.

It fits so aptly as an illustration to a short story I read once........a very good one as a matter of fact.

It was well written, witty, funny.........all those good things. It wasn't very long, more of an anecdote or a vignette than a short story, I suppose.......but those few, well chosen words spoke volumes. It had power packed into its small frame.....and the more you thought about it, the larger and more ironically amusing it grew.

It was a wonderful story..........and it deserves a better fate than to be tucked away to languish.

I'll never forget it..........I wish I'd made a hard copy when I had the chance.

Thus endeth the entry............

Links and Patties...................(tee hee)

I've kept a counter on this diary for nearly four months now and it looks as though I'm averaging about 600 page hits a month..............

That doesn't mean I've captured the attention of 600 people a month, but it's a nice number.

I owe a lot, of course, to friends and family..............and the numb, random browsing that true internet zombies do instead of sleep, eat, watch T.V. and have sex.

I took out a small text ad on a popular site for a few weeks and have kept a surprising number of readers from that........and there are those who link to my site from the comments I've left on sites I have heretofore listed to your left.

The result of all this wonderful net-working is that I've been read by people from the Asian Pacific Rim, through the middle-east and Europe, the islands of the Caribbean, South America, Canada and all over the U.S.
Frustrated traveler that those close to me know that I am, this delights me.

I owe a lot to those who have been kind enough to post a similar link to me on their sites..............some of them total strangers to me........and I would like to take this opportunity to thank them.

You tell yourself, when you start up something like this, that all you really want is a place to vent............but that is bullshit on its face........what you really want is readers, tons of them.

Over the course of the next few days, I'll be adding some links to other blogs that I've found and consider amusing, or well written, or sexy...........or something. So go there.........and read.
Like Alice said.........."feed your head."

The beauty and the breast

A comment left on my prior entry inspires me to invite any of my lady readers to feel free to talk about her boobs..........and also to encourage them to send me pictures of them if they are inclined to.............I'd love to start a gallery of these artistic donations..........perhaps I'd call it "The Captain's Chests".

Thus endeth the entry...........

Beauty and the Beast................

The Beauty

This is sort of a "this is the week that was" sort of thing.......dithering about in things that have gathered and collected over the past few days.

After a remarkably satisfying, bargain-filled trip to the grocery store Tuesday, I decided to stop at TomCat's for taco night.
A fat taco, fully dressed (complete with sour cream and salsa), is a balanced food item and therefore nutritious. "Enhanced" with a few tiny drops of "Dave's Insanity Sauce" it becomes piquant and interesting..........washed down with a glass or two of ice cold Foster's, a few tacos become a meal fit for a king...........and at $.99 a pop, by the time you've gathered all the ingredients, cheaper than you could eat at home, tip and all.

I'd lost track of "who works when" since my last visit, and was surprised and delighted to be greeted by Lovely Laurie, who is so consistently sweet and solicitous of me as to have become my favorite TomCat's lady.

You have read my ramblings about the ladies of TomCat's, (possibly even to the point of taking the exasperated stand that: "The lad really needs to go somewhere else to eat from time to time.............") and have seen me make use of the term "art deco" in regards to a certain body type.........
unfortunately Laurie has a "thing" about having her picture taken, so I can't give you a living example of what I'm talking about. This will have to serve instead.
Lithe and slender, yet not skinny to the point of "hipless", tall and naturally graceful, small breasted, flat-bellied and cute as a button......Laurie is a classic and the kind of girl that girls love to hate........in the sense that she can throw out all the rules that girls with less or more of a good thing in any one area or another have to follow to try to look as good as Laurie does in anything.

I've never seen her in anything that doesn't look good..........which is the same as saying that she makes anything that she puts on look good.
She's the kind of woman that tummy tops and low-rise pants were designed to be worn by, and Tuesday night, she did not disappoint.

I suppose, as outfits go, it was a simple enough affair...........the pants were a perfect counterpoint to a green tank top with a colorful "peace" symbol ironed on to the front...........but she made it look so damn cute and so perfect that the best advertisement its designer could have asked for is a picture of Laurie wearing it.

I don't know if Laurie has the sort of "body issues" that cause girls of her body type to see themselves as somehow less sexually appealing.........(or spur them to save their change for surgery) just because they don't conform to an arbitrary aesthetic that has little real force beyond that corner of a man's mind that is stuck forever in his freshman locker-room and no real practical application outside a dairy farm........I can only hope not, and decry the mind-set that fosters it if she does. What a cruel joke on women it is.
In the last 40 years, I've had the fortune of sampling a few dozen body types, from the tiny, skinny, hundred-mile-an-hour mini-screamers to the top-heavy amazons that remind you of Soviet/Nazi era propaganda posters of "woman-as-valkyrie-warrior-hero".............and it's the memory (and sight) of girls like Laurie that make me drool and ache the most.
I hope she understands, that 20 years from now, when her genetically "overly-blessed" sisters are relying on engineering technology that rivals the Verrazzano Narrows bridge to wrestle gelatinous, twin, 15 pound bags of fat from the neighborhood of their navel to their proper place on their chests, and shape them back into something resembling breasts under their clothing, girls like Laurie will look as good as they ever did........perhaps even better.........without even trying.

Laurie, darlin', it's not hard to imagine myself scraping together my last pocketful of change for a glass of iced tea and an excuse to come visit you..........honestly!!

The Beast

Tuesday night also saw the premier of Hallmark Channel's presentation of the latest in a long line of "not-to-be-outdone" attempts to cinematically define Mary Shelley's classic horror novel "Frankenstein". I was skeptical, but hopeful.....and ready to be generous.
Since first reading the book, at the age of about nine or ten, I've seen just about everything that has come down the pike...........from the Karloff classics of the 30's to the ridiculous travesties ground out for the teenaged drive-in crowd in the the 50's, to this week's made-for-TV mini-series.
Some work, if it is well cast, seems to be well suited to the mini-series format. "Roots" comes to mind, as well as James Clavell's "Shogun". Some work seems to be less graspable (or something) as it gets lost in the tedium of a too faithful adherence to detail...........in my mind "Dune" is one of the latter. Even with its occasional departures and arbitrary embellishments of imaginative "between-the-lines" interpretation, "Dune" made a more coherent story and a more faithful rendering of what the author was trying to convey as a movie than it did as a tediously detailed mini-series...........casting, of course, played a big part in this outcome, but it was more than that. There was an affinity and artistry at work, that rivaled that of the author, in making "Dune", the movie, that was lacking in more faithfully ,presumably, remaking it for TV.'

It is in this light, that I declare the TV version of "Frankenstein",while not altogether unworthy of a look-see, a sad second rate to "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein"............the movie made by Kenneth Brannagh and starring Robert DeNiro as the creature, Brannagh as the good Doctor and the little cutie pie with three names as Elizabeth.

While I am on a roll with this thing, I will further declare Coppola's "Bram Stoker's Dracula" as the best Dracula flick that ever was.........so much better than any other that he can be forgiven the casting of Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder, insofar as he could have relied on Hopkins and Oldman to carry the flick and cast relative unknowns in the roles of Jonathon and Mina Harker.

So there is a bone to be chewed by those who have been hovering about, hungry for new postings..........and I am going to scavenge some supper.

Thus endeth the entry...........